YAYYYY!!
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: i'm singing..yes i am
AHHHH! im so frekin happy right now! i got to see him tonight for the first time in about 2 months. i thought it would be really weird to finally see him but we just clicked right away and it was just like...yay idk! everything is just goin right and i think its actually work this time. gosh everyones gone and i have noone to share my happyness with...I FEEL PRETTY OH SO PRETTY I FEEL PRETTY AND WHITTY AND GAYYY! AND I PITTY ANYONE WHO ISNT ME TODAY!! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! ok im done goodnight!

Mood:  hug me
wow i haven't written in here in a long time..well schools goin alright (not the best but w/e thats just school). It's not as good as last year though, i think it's cause my sister and all her friends aren't there anymore. They made it alot of fun. The seniors this year are just like w/e i don't care..idk how to explain it but they just aren't that great with the exception of a few people of course. i didn't go to school today.. i probably should have cause i think i would have been alright but..oh well! it was nice to sleep in. wow i can't wait till this weekend. I get to see Clyde (erin knows who im talkin about). Thats why things have been so great lately because of him. im so happy yay!

man...i'm really bored. this is the first day this summer that i have had nothing to do. i can't wait to go to the beach. i lost my earing, you have no idea how pissed i am now. bye

take me by the hand see beyond the lies strip away the fences leave me needing leave me high..
have you ever had a problem where you had no idea how to fix it? first you have to think about that person and whats going through their mind. then you have to think about what you think, which is another problem because you dont ever know what you really want. then you try to get opinions from other people as to what to do about it (most of the time that dosent work because youre not sure if it actually will work and to scared to try it). in the end its all crap cause your stuck and dont know what to do about it. right now im stuck...maybe i should think about what i really want but what if i screwed everything up? but if the other person gets what they want ill be screwed again because ill be unhappy. why does it have to be so complicated? its summer now. i guess i can chill out for a while and not have to go through so much crap like i did at school last year. wow it really dosent feel like summer...ok 16 candels is on..i love the 80's.

this ones goes out to megan
well im writing this just for megan because i know when she gets bored she always reads my thing and has been complaining that i don't write enough. well hi megan i hope you appreciate this...wow it dosen't seem like summer. i forget were even out. well today was cool i guess. tonights gonna be fun if bryan can come and not leave me there feeling awkward with erin and martin even though they are quite adorable together. well umm i guess ill go.

i hate stupid people. you might have heard me say it before but not understood what i really meant. stupid people are people who make up crap about me thats not true and then deny it when i ask them about . i hate people like that. they have no reason to talk about me. what did i frekin do?? i try to be nice. oh we found a new person to talk about whoo hoo! so im talkin to bryan and like i describe this place where everyone is happy and uoui could wear pigtales and nobody would care and you could play in the rain everyday and you could go puddle jumping and nobody would look at you stupid when you ask them to go with you like they do now. so i like to go puddle jumping so what?? i was happy one minute, everything was ok i had a good day, then the next idk what happened. i got really depressed all the sudden. gezz idk what my problem is. all i wanted to do was start a fire in the cheminea thing we have outside and it wouldn't work then i got really pissed off and sad cause all i wanted to do was chill out by the fire. so then i wanted to jump on the trampoline and it wouldn't work because it rained for like a week. so really the rain had screwed me over tonight. now i smell like smoke cause thats all i made tonight. theres alots of reasons why i should be happy but theres alot of reasons why i should be mad. it feels like theres no reason to be happy. ughhhhhh!!!!! im so glad i have ppl to make me feel appreciated. ppl who can tell me jokes or sing me a song or ask me if they want them to come over just to make me feel better. man i love my real firiends. some people say they are my friends but tell me things that if they were my real friend they wouldnt tell me because they know it would hurt me. thats why i love my real friends cause they understand me and listen to my stupid stories about this imagnary place where ppl are happy. anyone else would think i was crazy but not them. i can act my self and they wouldnt think i was stupid, but just laugh and play along with me. man i love them

you know those times when you cry alot for no reason? thats happened alot like tyler saying he was paralized and it was supposed to be a joke and then me crying cause i thought i had an f in science. yea turns out i have a c and i think i can bring it up. wow i feel like an idiot. oh well good thing i have a c. whoo goin out with the friends!

today was pretty good. i had an old people game (for those of you that dont know i play for church with the 50-80 yr olds) yea we won. old people can be harsh..anyways so yea bryan lost the bet ha! loser..not really bryans the coolest! i dont really have much to say but i got exempted from art and probably french WHOOO yea thats it im gonna go take a shower now WHOOO!!! ok bye

random stuff said dont think much into it
i'm just a lonesome pole cat. (for those of you who know seven brides for seven brothers know what im talking about). erin gets all the sweet guys... i just want someone to JAM with! i think i complain too much so im gonna stop. you know that time of the day after school and after homework when you have nothing to do and its getting dark outside and the young and the restless is on? yea i hate that. so yea last night i had a dream me and megan and some other people had this limo truck thing but it wasnt really a limo but it had black lights and stuff..but anyways we had to get some black drag queens so we could do a hidden camera show. so we get some right? and we get this random mexican and we have him in the car with all these drag queens hitting on him and after a while were like your on our hidden camera show! and the end. i think i need some professional person to interrpret my dreams..

yea
i am frekin ready to get out of this house you dont even know. i am so sick of everything. really i just wanna get away so basically i really wanna go to camp but thats not till like july so it sucks even worse. why do people have to be so stupid!? stupid people bug me. i feel like crap right now so thats probably why im so..ughh. i did have fun this weekend though (besides today). erin came over friday night and we had a 80's disco/rock party so that was great memories. saturday did nothing till night. i babysat till like 10 ($28 frekin right). then i went to gregs house and that was fun. today sucked. i had to go to a wedding shower. how many weddings can one family have? but anyways felt like crap so yea. i really want some vans now thanks erin. maybe ill jump her and steal them...